Thursday, November 19, 2009


I have a niece, Kaile, who died when she was 2. I was 7. It's a tragic tale that I don't feel the need to talk about yet. But the thought occurred to me that next month would have been her 16th birthday. You know where I was when I was 16? I was in Paris. I landed in Paris on my 16th birthday. I was with my dad, I was taking this incredible opportunity to perform in Paris and London with orchestra. I was performing piano in Paris when I was 16. And Kaile would be 16 pretty soon. What kind of mischief would she have gotten herself into?

I'm finding that I'm not thinking of her as often as I used to. I didn't think of her that much when I was younger, and then I started to when I was around middle school. I used to think of her at least once a month. I don't think I've thought of her for months now. I feel like a horrible auntie. How can you forget to remember the first person you ever remember falling in love with?

This paper is really hard to do because I'm finding out how hard my heart has gotten. I haven't been paying attention in life. I need to pay attention. I need to remember. Anyway.

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