Monday, May 18, 2009



Today, in celebration of my BC in metaphysics, I decided to take advantage of a certain sale at a certain store that I rarely go to because the articles of clothing in that certain store are way too ridiculously high. I decided to get something special for myself, two something specials, as a matter of fact. One something was originally $42 and was marked down to $29.95... which was a good deal in my eyes. The other I was fully willing and ready to pay the $48 price tag because, lets face it, I worked hard in metaphysics, and I deserved a little somethin somethin. I got up to the cashier and somehow, I was only getting charged $49. Turns out one something special was $29.50, while the other only rang up $19.99. I kept my mouth shut.




The thirty dollars I saved went to pay for my first monthly pass at Weight Watchers. That's right. I'm coming out of the weight-loss closet. I joined Weight Watchers today. Legit joined. Paid my own money joined. Attended the meeting joined. I'm telling you this as a cry out for help, because I need it. And that's what we talked about at our meeting today... how to ask for help. I'm awful at asking for help. I see asking for help as a sign of weakness.




But you know what? I joined Weight Watchers today. I'm going to lose between 70 and 80 pounds. I'm going to welcome a brand new me... because for too long, while I do love and accept myself the way I am, I have been misjudging the size of my body and running into things. I want to cook well for myself and take care of myself and make good decisions by myself. I need to develop some kind of will power to fight against temptation. I am doing a disservice to myself, to others, and to God, by continuing to destroy my body in this way. And one day, if I am blessed with a spouse and the call to family life, I want to be able to make good decisions for the sake of my children. So please. Help me. Please don't force high calorie foods on me that I don't need. Please work out with me. Please? It would mean the world to me.




Today, at my first Weight Watchers meeting in... 8 years... we learned about how to ask for help, and how to prepare for special social engagements so we don't go overboard with our points and food choices. I felt like I was gearing up for battle. It was intense. I got all excited about counting calories. And today, at Cashwise, when I went to buy my groceries after my meeting, I actually looked at food labels and bought the foods that were better for me, even if they were a dollar more than the generic brand. It's really empowering, actually.




So here are some before pictures. Maybe I'll update them as my life progresses.


Me! Nevermind the mess behind me. oy.
I'm ready!!!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

HOLY COW!!!!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!! AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!!!!

I took Metaphysics this semester... which is easily the most difficult class in the entire humanities department at St. John's University... and easily the most difficult class I've ever had to take over the course of my entire almost-21-years of existence. Our entire grade was based on 4 things... our midterm (which I got an F-- on... if F--'s existed), our homework (which I got mostly C's on average), our final exam, and our final paper. Now since I received the F-- on my midterm and had been getting mostly C's on my homework, I figured my grade in that class was somewhere hovering in limbo between a C and a D... which was simply not acceptable. I think I needed a solid C for the class to even count toward my theology major, and a D for it to count for any credit at all. I got a lot of weird looks from people this semester, because seriously, the only reason why anyone should have to endure Metaphysics is if they are a philosophy major and are required to take it... anyone else is just crazy, because it's that hard. And I could have taken other 300-level philosophy classes... but I chose Metaphysics... because I wanted a challenge (ha!). Anyway. My final for metaphysics consisted of 2 questions... and each question took me an hour and 15 minutes to answer as thouraghly as possible (the reason I failed my midterm was not because the information I put down was incorrect, but because I simply did not write enough... if that gives you an idea of how hard this class was). My final paper wound up being 10 pages long (my prof didn't give a page length requirement... he simply said that we had to write as much as it took to answer the question, "What do you see?" and then write a response to a novel we've recently read in light of this question). I actually cried after handing in my final and my paper on the last day of class because I worked so hard on it and was so worried about it... and I was so worried about the kind of doo-doo I'd be in if I wound up failing that class... and...

MY FINAL GRADE FOR METAPHYSICS IS A BC!!!!!! Which means it's either a really really low B or a really really high C. And you know what? I'm going to go ahead and assume that I got the really really low B. And this is phenomenal. Seriously. A miracle. I somehow managed to raise my grade at *least* a full letter grade, if not more. I'm going to go ahead and bake some celebratory brownies.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

On the road to Emmaus...

For the past couple of days, I've been running into this one guy on the way to Emmaus. I have no idea who he is, but we keep crossing paths. Seriously. Every single time I am on the path that goes from Sexton to Emmaus hall for work, I run into this guy. On the road to Emmaus. I have to laugh at it because well, I'm a theology major, working at the School of Theology, in a building called Emmaus... and on the road to Emmaus, I encountered a man I've never seen before. Just like the disciples encountered Jesus on the road to Emmaus. Oh man. It's just hilarious. Maybe tomorrow I'll learn what his name is. Anyway. I just had to share this because I thought it was funny. :o)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'm at work right now. There is nothing for me to do. I still have 35 minutes left until I have to leave. My boss left early and didn't leave me anything to do. ... What to do... what to do...

It feels good getting paid $8.18 to update this blog.

My pants are buzzing. Hold on.

Shoot. You know what I hate? I hate when my texting inbox gets full, and people keep sending me messages, and rather than not sending the message like I would rather it do, Verizon would rather say, "You have a message. Delete another message so you can receive this one." So now I'm curious, and I *have* to receive the message, because I *have* to look at it. I *have* to know who it's from. If I don't... I will probably explode. Because who knows who it could be! It could be Bob Barker, for all I know! If I don't receive this text message... if I choose to ignore it for the sake of not letting my phone bill get too crazy... I could really be missing out on something important!

And now I won't be receiving the message for another few hours anyway, because Verizon is a load of crap.

Moving on... work is alright. I'm getting a little more used to the long days, though I really despise having to wake up at 6:10 every morning. I've been starting to get into an evening routine though, where I chill out for awhile, wash my dishes and start getting ready for bed around 10:30, get in bed and read from 11:00 until whenever I can't keep my eyes open anymore... which lately has been between 11:11 and 11:17. It's really strange going to bed before midnight. Usually I don't go to bed until 3 or 4 in the morning. But I kind of like being awake during the daytime. I just wish my daytime didn't have to start at 6:10. 6:10 is a little too early. And somehow, I'm still managing to run out the door frantically at 7:29:30 and barely make the 7:30 bus. I'm lucky that I know the bus driver and he knows to wait for me... otherwise I would have missed the bus for the second time in a row.. which is sad, considering this is only my third day working. hah. I'm just not a morning person.

The up side to this job, however, is that I really enjoy it. It's not bus driving for sure... but... I enjoy it. I enjoy my coworkers and my supervisors. I enjoy doing something ministry-related. I have re-awakened my sleeping passion for youth ministry, oddly enough. Today I was reading through some teens' application essays for YTM, and they're phenomenal!! It gives me so much hope for the future of the Church. These teens actually care about volunteering and making a difference in the world. Even if they fall away from their faith for awhile... I know that their passion for serving others and making a difference in the world will last. And that's important. Everyone goes through ups and downs on their faith journey (which is why it's called a "journey" and not a "faith stroll in the park")... and it's only natural to fall away sometimes. But I do believe that there's always something that will draw a person back to God somehow, someway. Service to others usually does it for me.

On a completely unrelated note... I just took a sip of water from my fancy new Bennies nalgene bottle, tipped it a little too far, and spilled all over myself. Shoot dang. Of course.

In other news... I'm starting my mission of watching all of the movies in the Alcuin library in alphabetical order backwards starting with the Z's. I wanted to accomplish that this summer.. but I'm guessing I'm going to have to give myself an extension until graduation. I'm starting off with "Zulu Dawn," followed by "Zorba the Greek," and followed by "Zoolander." Indubidably.

I guess I should try and figure out something to do. Maybe I'll go eat all those Hershey kisses over there. That sounds like a good idea.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm a real adult now. kind of.

Things I get at my new, legit 40-hour/week job:
1) My own office, which is currently being taken over by sir webmaster.
2) My own temporary office/liturgy office to use while my actual office is being taken over by sir webmaster.
3) Bibles. Lots of Bibles.
4) A book with the title, "Journey Songs." I opened it. "Don't Stop Believin'" was *not* in it. Shoot.
5) No air conditioning... which isn't a problem now... but could be in the future.
6) One-hour lunch break.
7) A window with a view of a parking lot and trees and the occasional muscular construction worker man working on the Reefer.
8) A stapler.
9) A book of Eucharistic bread recipes. Tempting. I too can have unleavened bread in my apartment. I can't bless it, but I can still bake it!!

yep. It's actually not so bad so far. I don't know how I like this whole working from 8 to 4:30 thing though. oy.

Anyway. I should probably get back to work. I thought I'd be all BA and update my blog from my workspace. Risky, risky!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Here's the plan, stan.

These are the places I want to visit during the summer:
1) Greyhound Bus Museum--Hibbing, Minnesota
2) World's Largest Ball of Twine--Darwin, Minnesota
3) The SPAM Museum--Austin, Minnesota
4) Turtle Races (Wednesdays only... we'll see about this one)--Longville, Minnesota.
5) Tiny Church--Luverne, Minnesota
6) Collection of Exotic Dirt--Sheldon, Iowa
7) Judy Garland's Birth Home--Grand Rapids, Minnesota
8) Toilet Bowl Garden--Grand Rapids, Minnesota
9) Various places in Minneapolis/St. Paul
10) Sandpaper Museum--Two Harbors, Minnesota
11) World of Accordions Museum--Superior, Wisconsin.

Here are the goals I wish to accomplish:
1) Read one book a week.
2) Get paid a lot more money than I would have had I stayed at home.
3) Watch a movie a day?/week from the library, in alphabetical order, starting with the Z's.
4) Start working out again.
5) Cook every day. Or at least 3-5 times out of the week, depending on how many leftovers I'll have.
6) Call home more.
7) Write more letters.
8) Save more money than I spend.
9) Learn how to grill.
10) Write in my journal more.
11) Meet new people. Make new friends.
12) Stop baking so many brownies.
13) Go to daily Mass at least 3 times a week.
14) Go buy a swimsuit for the first time since 4th grade. And then go swimming for the first time since... 10th grade.
15) Take more pictures.
16) Help out with QUEST
17) Attend my first legal Theology on Tap
18) Fiddle around on the piano more.
19) Create a budget. And stick to it.
20) Be more involved with the community in St. Joe.

I'd write more, but I'm afraid I will wind up with an odd number, like 23, and I won't be able to even it out so it's 25 or 30... so I'm not going to add to it. I hate endingon odd numbers. My first list really bothers me because it ends at 11. But I don't know of other places to visit and spend time at... except for random statues of Paul Bunyan and hockey sticks and what nots.

I think it's going to be a good summer.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Graduation... what??

I'm not graduating until next year. But the people that I met as a freshman, three years ago... THREE YEARS AGO... three YEARS... ago... those people are graduating with. All of those people who worked with me at McGlynns... those people who hosted me on my very first/last fly-in weekend as a senior in high school... those people who I met in some intro classes and at Magis when I actually liked going to it... those people... the ones who I knew since the beginning here... they're leaving. Weird. I don't even talk to half of them anymore. But still. The thought is quite frightening.

These people... they were once new to me... and now I've known them for awhile... and now they're leaving. They have emerged... they held sway... and now they're leaving. Holy applicable Metaphysics, batman.

I need to leave now because I now have to start going to church in St. Joe rather than at 9 p.m. at St. Johns... which kind of stinks a lot... but... hm. I don't know what else to say about this.... other than the fact that if people are graduating right now in 2009... then that means I'm graduating next year... in 2010. What!!!!

Okay bye.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

things i learned from metaphysics...

1) We are born. We live. And then we cease to exist. And that's about it.
2) Phusis. On stages. My Daesin doesn't like it.
3) Why are there beings at all, rather than nothing? Isn't that the question you ask when you've completely given up on the world and have lost all hope for life? "Oh... why are there beings at all, rather than nothing?" Thanks, Debbie Downer AKA Martin Heidegger
4) Why are you even asking that question?
5) The world, like this list, is in a specific order.
6) Wavering and Oscillating mean the exact same thing.
7) People started out with four arms and four legs. Then Zeus split us up, so we're looking for our other half. (I illustrated the story in my notebook... it might not exactly be a metaphysical lesson)
8) "At night, all cows are black" (this was also written in the margins of my notebook... it's a direct quote from Rene)
9) It's all about the stage. And things emerging on it. And then things disappearing.
10) You are in my life. You hold sway for awhile. Then you leave. Kind of sucks... but it's the world in which we live.

Upon readnig my notes again... I have determined that I hopefully didn't fail, but I probably didn't get higher than a C on my final. I don't know if this is good or bad. It's better than failing. But oh man.

There were two questions on my Metaphysics final today. I answered each of them in an hour and fifteen minutes. Each. 1 hour and 15 minutes per question.

I have officially survived the most difficult class in the entire humanities department at CSB/SJU, and easily the more difficult class in my entire life.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

victory!


I know I already wrote today... so this may be a bit.. "Bloggery Overload" for you... but I couldn't resist sharing my latest tale of victory over the toilet.


If you know anything about my life at all, you will know that before Easter break, my toilet and I got in a fight and the toilet won... creating the 10,001st lake in my apartment. Since then, the toilet has been acting rather funny... flushing twice, as if to taunt me by saying, "Ha ha.. I'm acting about as abnormally as that one day I decided to explode all over your apartment."

Today, the toilet decided that it would try to get the best of me once again by flushing twice... but clogging up on the first flush... thus making it impossible for me to stop the impending catastrophe. However, smart roommate was home and taught me how to turn off the water valve... so toilet... VICTORY IS MINE! I think we're even now.


in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take by yourself.

If you would have told the high school sophomore version of myself when I was panicking and trying to merge onto 53 in a car with my driving instructor and two classmates that I was destined to drive this huge bus just 4 years later... I would have called the cops on you. It took me so long to just merge onto an expressway in a regular car, I was never going to attempt that in a vehicle 3 times the size. But somehow... my heart changed. I fell in love. With a bus. So here it is. The list of reasons why I'm in love with my job... in no particular order.



1) Establishing dominance over the road. I don't have to worry about merging. Everyone else has to worry about me merging. Unless they're a semi. In that case... I'm getting out of the semi's way.

2) Not having to flip burgers and assemble sandwiches.

3) Taking 20 minutes to fuel half a tank. This makes me a badass.

4) Not having to pay for any of the fuel I put in that tank.

5) Getting together with other bus drivers to talk about bus driving. And it's not weird. It's actually beautiful.

6) Seeing how fast I can go around the curves without knocking anyone out of their seats.

7) Having to look both ways to make a right hand turn.

8) Making passengers smile with my random playlist on my iPod.

9) Picking up passengers.

10) Watching potential passengers running in my sideview mirrors when I'm about to pull away. If they look like they're making an effort, I'll wait for them.

11) Pulling down the top hatches at the end of the night.

12) Knowing all of the other bus drivers by name.

13) The hissing sound the brakes make when they're put into action.

14) The loud pop from the parking brake as it's being engaged.

15) The feeling of the entire bus thundering to life when starting. Sometimes I like to count down from 10 and say, "Houston, we have lift off!!!" It fits.

16) Honking the horn. It's even better in the bus than it is in a car. I love honking the horn.

17) Knowing that not many people can say they drove a bus in college.

18) The wave bus drivers give to each other on the road... even if we're complete strangers to each other. We really aren't... because we're bus drivers.

19) This is one thing I'm doing that my sister never did or considered doing. I am truly peeing on my own tree. Marking my territory.

20) Having everyone trust me with their cars because I can drive a bus.

21) Not needing to know which pump number I'm at at the gas station because I just say, "I'm in the bus" and the guy behind the counter knows what to do.

22) Washing busses. Really.



I could add more to the list. I might later.



Today, we had a bus rodeo. I would have never had a "McGlynns Rodeo."

I lost... miserably. But still. What other job would let you have a party in which you do cool tricks in your bus? Parallel parking. Stopping on a dime (who knew it was the tire that had to stop on the dime... rather than the entire vehicle? hahaha). Swerving around cones... backwards and forwards. It was magical. I did both much worse and much better than I did last year. Mostly worse. But I still feel secure in my bus driverality. That's not a word... but it is now.



Oh busses.

Monday, May 4, 2009

I've been in a serious relationship with Xanga for going on 5 years now. Don't get me wrong... things are going great. I write in it when I'm happy or sad or mad or contemplative or (insert other feeling word here)... but I have been ignited with a burning desire to talk about myself to people I don't know, so I have made the jump to blogger. This way, you (THE AUDIENCE!) don't have to bother with high school me, and instead can join with me on this clean slate. Why I didn't do this before college started is beyond me. I'm a mystery even to myself.


Anyway. I think a new blog that my friends and family can follow is a positive addition to my life. Plus, the sweet thing about this blog is that even if you don't have a blogger account, YOU CAN STILL COMMENT ON IT!!! This way I can accommodate the creepers who want to know about my life, but are too afraid to let me know that they've been creeping on me for awhile (trust me. I can relate. I understand the kind of complex feelings you are experiencing. I myself am a creeper). You can probably even create your own nickname to comment with. The perks to this blog are endless.


So here's my lame first post. I figure if I made the starting point lame, it will encourage me to write more and better quality posts in the future. Lucky you!
Yep. Bye.