Friday, April 30, 2010

this year is the year!

Today I went to the mall to get my glasses adjusted, and in order to get to Lens Crafters I had to walk through Target (because you know, Target is an anchor to the mall in St. Cloud... I still don't understand that). I noticed the swimsuit section... and so I drifted into it and started looking around. I haven't been doing "well" with Weight Watchers since about November (as in--I haven't lost any weight... but I'm still doing good with working out which is still good for me) and I am nowhere near the goal I had set for myself (basically I had wanted to get down to my goal weight by graduation... which is obviously not going to happen, as I have a good 50 pounds left to go... still). I'm kind of bummed by my lack of progress... but I know that I just have to keep going and keep trying because it's eventually got to budge. Anyway, I haven't gone swimsuit shopping in... years. I've had the same swimsuit since 4th or 5th grade. It's very stretched out now, but doesn't quite cover the parts of me that have changed and developed over the years, if you know what I mean. Fourth/fifth grade me was quite different... even though I was always a little pudgy. Anyway. On a whim... I tried on some swimsuits. And you know what the beautiful part was? I didn't hate it. I actually *liked* how I looked. Even despite the fact that I am still a good 50 pounds away from goal. I looked at myself and saw the reflection of a young woman who has worked really hard to get to where she is today... emotionally, spiritually, physically. I learned I look real good in teal/aqua. I learned I look amazing in the halter styles because I actually have back muscles now that you can kind of see. I mean, dang. I work out. Even 50 pounds away from goal... I'm still proud of how I look. I was a little uncomfortable with how short the swimskirt thing was... because I haven't ever worn anything that short... but the issue was more with the shortness of the skirt than with how my legs looked in it.

I didn't walk away with a new swimsuit mainly because I couldn't find a supportive enough one. But the experience wasn't entirely terrible. I think this summer might actually be the summer that I purchase a cute suit to wear out in public. This is a huge deal. I'm excited. :o)

1 comment:

  1. GAH! I am super excited for you!!! That is sooo awesome!! I miss you!