I have this strange affinity for starting over. I'm stuck in a perpetual rut where I'm constantly dissatisfied with what I have, so I want something new. But then I can't get over that initial hurdle of the blank slate, even though that's what I thought I wanted. The blank slate is intimidating. I know I wanted it, but I don't know why, or what to do with it.
For instance, I just graduated college and I am filling out job applications. I have this vague dream in my head that I would like to be a writer one day, but I have no idea what I would write or how I would go about accomplishing it. I don't even know what the end result would be from me being a writer... perhaps I would write articles for a magazine, or write a novel or two or twenty. But then the little voice in my head keeps telling me that I'm not good enough, that I don't have anything interesting to say, and even if I did, I certainly don't have the talent to keep an audience interested. I would like to eventually be able to shove this little voice down the proverbial toilet, and I think to do this I need to practice, practice, practice. And read more. I think the key to good writing is good reading.
So. As I was writing this post, I decided to create yet another blog in the hopes that by making it less specific but still more professional-ish... so maybe one day I can be that big bad writer I've always dreamed of being.
I'll obviously keep this one for the two stalkers that I have (you KNOW who you are!). You'll still get all those juicy details that no one else cares about. It'll be fun. You'll see. But keep your eyes peeled for the day I am brave enough to tell you what that other blog is. It'll be a big deal if I even stick to it... because lets face it, I just start things, I don't actually see it through to its completion.
Even now, I have a hard time ending things. And this is my ending. Case in point.