Today I went for a run around Pat's Lake, which is just a couple blocks away from my house. Please notice how I said "run" instead of "walk"... BAM SUCKA! Anyway. I was on my second mile and taking a break/walking when I saw this tall gorgeous looking young man running on the opposite side of the lake in my direction... so I started to run again so I didn't look like a complete wimp. hahaha. And sure enough... that gorgeous young man was a boy I had a crush on from at least 3rd grade almost all the way up to high school. Holy cow... as a senior in college... he's just as much, if not more, gorgeous. I almost had a heart attack. I don't even know if he recognized me... but we did smile and say hello and I did this massive double take and watched him run away in the opposite direction. And then my calves started to cramp up like crazy as i ran a little further so I had to stop and stretch for a little... and then just walking I could start to feel them cramp up, so I had to walk slowly home. That was kind of a bummer. But oh man. I haven't seen that boy since at least graduation. Crazy. I can't believe someone could still be that gorgeous... I had great taste in men as a 3rd grader. No joke.
Anyway. Shower time. :o)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
oh hot damn... this is my jam... y'all don't understand... let me throw my hands in the ayerrrr
I don't know where the inspiration came from... but I tried on my prom dress from my senior year of high school tonight.
HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I usually don't ever *seriously* talk about how good I look. But I look AMAZING!!!! Seriously!!! This is my serious face!!! I had a photo shoot in my dress. I even put on makeup again after taking it off for the night. I actually have WIGGLE ROOM in my dress!!! When I was a senior... this dress fit perfectly. I was almost spilling out the top of it. My boobs were definitely comfortable in it. But tonight I had to stuff my bra for the first time in my entire life, just to keep the top up (okay.. that kind of sucks... but at least I have a good reason for needing to). I can pull my dress back and see extra space! I can sit in it and still breathe. This is a gigantic milestone. I feel great. I lost a total of 35 pounds since May (40 since January!)... and I can actually see what all that hard work has done for me in this moment.
The rest of this post is going to be filled with pictures so you can see how good I look and I can showcase just how far I've come since January.
Me... just lookin awesome.
Classy picture.
I'm trying to show how much space is in the back of my dress... but my arm didn't bend that way so it's hard to tell. But trust me... it's there.
Classic "thumbs up" picture.
My "Look-at-me-because-I'm-supa-cute" picture.
Success!
I suppose I should get out of my dress and into my jammies... like was the plan about an hour and a half ago. My shoulders are gettin kind of cold anyway. Oh man.
HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I usually don't ever *seriously* talk about how good I look. But I look AMAZING!!!! Seriously!!! This is my serious face!!! I had a photo shoot in my dress. I even put on makeup again after taking it off for the night. I actually have WIGGLE ROOM in my dress!!! When I was a senior... this dress fit perfectly. I was almost spilling out the top of it. My boobs were definitely comfortable in it. But tonight I had to stuff my bra for the first time in my entire life, just to keep the top up (okay.. that kind of sucks... but at least I have a good reason for needing to). I can pull my dress back and see extra space! I can sit in it and still breathe. This is a gigantic milestone. I feel great. I lost a total of 35 pounds since May (40 since January!)... and I can actually see what all that hard work has done for me in this moment.
The rest of this post is going to be filled with pictures so you can see how good I look and I can showcase just how far I've come since January.
Me... just lookin awesome.
Classy picture.
I'm trying to show how much space is in the back of my dress... but my arm didn't bend that way so it's hard to tell. But trust me... it's there.
Classic "thumbs up" picture.
My "Look-at-me-because-I'm-supa-cute" picture.
Success!
I suppose I should get out of my dress and into my jammies... like was the plan about an hour and a half ago. My shoulders are gettin kind of cold anyway. Oh man.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
this just in: i'm turning into my mother.
And here is the proof:
So I wrote 4 out of 8 of my pages for my visions of ministry paper that's due last thursday/tomorrow for my grad school class... and i worked really hard on it and was really satisfied with it... when I got back to my apartment to work on it more after being in the library for 4 hours... I couldn't find it on my computer. I went into full panic mode... I kid you not.. sobbing... I haven't cried like that in FOREVER. Inconsolable. Awful. Eventually... after dinking around some more and praying to St. Anthony to help me find my stupid paper... I found it. And then I cried some more because of how completely stressed out I was over it and scared out of my mind of not getting any sleep whatsoever tonight... the first thing I did was clean out my wine glass and pour myself a nice big glass of white zinfandel. My paper will probably be much better with the wine. And I am officially my mother.
PS--just so you know... wine and doritos do not mix well. sad for me, because i want them both. simultaneously. okay. back to my paper...
So I wrote 4 out of 8 of my pages for my visions of ministry paper that's due last thursday/tomorrow for my grad school class... and i worked really hard on it and was really satisfied with it... when I got back to my apartment to work on it more after being in the library for 4 hours... I couldn't find it on my computer. I went into full panic mode... I kid you not.. sobbing... I haven't cried like that in FOREVER. Inconsolable. Awful. Eventually... after dinking around some more and praying to St. Anthony to help me find my stupid paper... I found it. And then I cried some more because of how completely stressed out I was over it and scared out of my mind of not getting any sleep whatsoever tonight... the first thing I did was clean out my wine glass and pour myself a nice big glass of white zinfandel. My paper will probably be much better with the wine. And I am officially my mother.
PS--just so you know... wine and doritos do not mix well. sad for me, because i want them both. simultaneously. okay. back to my paper...
Monday, November 23, 2009
I... Can't... Concentrate...
Yep. 8 page paper and astronomy homelab due tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'll be more productive doing this survey.
**
If you had to pick one outfit that you currently own to wear for the rest of your life,
what would it consist of?
jeans, tshirt, flip flops. :o)
What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
ultimately... heaven. however, i hope that i can be a ghost and haunt people for awhile. just because. and i hope Jesus would join me.
What TV show have you seen every episode of?
the office!
What movie can you quote every line to?
wayne's world. :o) excellennnt!!
What bands have you seen in concert?
plus one (YES!!! favorite!), relient k, hawk nelson, audio adrenaline, thousand foot krutch... some other christian-type bands. ooh. and hot hot heat... that was fun... especially with those hippies in front of us and their special little illegal item that they were smokin'... oh boy.
What bands would you like to see in concert?
PLUS ONE!! again!! hahah. i don't know. i like festivals. with multiple bands.
If you had the money to retire anywhere in the world, where would you go?
somewhere with a beach. :o)
Is there a piece of jewelry or something similar that if you lost, you would feel naked?
i feel naked without my class ring and my kairos cross.
What is one thing [appearance-wise or other] you would change about yourself?
i wish i had more confidence in myself.
One thing you would change about your best friend?
i wish she wasn't so fricking pretty. ;o) jaykayy. she's wonderful the way she is. :o)
Everyone remembers their first birthday party that involved friends. Describe yours.
oh boy. pin the tail on the donkey was definitely involved. i don't remember much from it. but really... what more do i need to remember aside from pin the tail on the donkey?
What do you think is the perfect age and why?
under 10. i dont' want to be an adult!!!
If you could go back in time and change your first kiss, would you?
lol. you know what? i wouldn't. haha.
How many times have you said “I love you” to someone of the opposite sex [romantically] and meant it?
none.
How many times have you said it and not meant it?
ive never said it to anyone romantically.
Which member of your family has the biggest influence on your life?
mom. definitely mom.
If you won a $1,000 shopping spree to one store, what store would you want it to be?
jc penney! it's a one stop shop for all of my clothing needs!!
Which is your favorite comic book movie [The Hulk, Spiderman, Ironman, etc]?
oo. i liked ironman.
What do you think this phrase means: “I am drearily bloodletting this bedwetting cosmonaut”?
your mom!!!
If you could go back in time and relive one memory – relive it, not change it – what memory would it be?
the one time it was my birthday and we had a lock in at church and the boy i had a crush on was there.... he totally made me feel like i was floating and the ceiling was the only thing stopping me from just floating off the face of the earth. that boy. oh man. great day.
How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
i don't know. 2nd grade? maybe? average age?
Who taught you?
mom and dad
When you go to the movies, do you like to get candy or popcorn?
raisinets all the way!!
Describe the first real party you ever went to [i.e. first party with alcohol].
ha. um. i've never actually been to a house party-type party. i've been to a few political parties, back in the day. ;o)
If you’ve never been to one, explain why not.
it just never appealed to me. wasn't my scene. you know what i mean, jelly bean? (that was a lot of rhyming)
Did/do you like high school? Why or why not?
for the most part, yes. i didn't have many things *against* it... so sure, i liked it. ha.
Do you have ONE best friend, who stands out among all the others, that’s been there for you seemingly forever?
yep. and i've never met her.
If so, who is it?
my facebook wife. we've been writing letters to each other since i was 9 or 10 and she was 12 or 13.
If not, do you prefer having just a group of good friends, or would you like to have that one best friend?
both. :o)
Do you prefer the sound of electric, acoustic, or steel guitar?
acoustic. though i've never heard a steel guitar... hmmm...
Have you ever read the Bible – even just a little part of it?
dude. theo major.
Have you ever read the Koran?
no! but it's on my list!
What was the best pet you’ve ever had?
i've only had fish. they've all sucked. haha.
Out of all the states you’ve visited/lived in, which is your favorite?
i like the east coast a lot.
Do you enjoy jigsaw puzzles?
NO. i HATE them!!!
If you were allowed one murder without punishment, would you do it?
no.
Where do you keep your wallet when you’re out and about?
who knows. haha. on the floor in my room somewhere. i usually carry my debit card and license with me.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
not that i know of.
How about seen things happen that you think were caused by a ghost?
not that i know of.
Did you have Beanie Babies as a kid?
of course.
Did you have tag protectors for their tags, or did you just rip the tags off?
no tag protectors... but i left the tags on.
Do you prefer stripes or polka dots?
i prefer to mix them!
What’s the best Christmas present you ever received?
hm. deoderant. secret clinical strength (at least... when secret clinical strength actually worked on my pits)
Which of your birthdays was the most memorable?
my sixteenth.
Name one song you can play on an instrument – any instrument.
clair de lune--piano. :o)
Who taught you to play that song?
myself!
Out of all the teachers you’ve had, who had the biggest influence on you?
mr. patton. hands down.
Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle?
no.
How about a moped?
nope.
When you were little, what was your favorite Disney movie?
beauty and the beast. lion king. rawrr.
What’s your favorite Disney movie now?
beauty and the beast. lion king. rawrrr. :o)
On the opposite sex, do you prefer muscles, average size, or scrawny body?
average.
What’s the best gift you’ve ever received from a significant other?
haha. um. i got a sims expansion pack for my birthday. that was awesome. i totally forgot i had friends and a social life for like, a month after. that was a bit of an exaggeration. but there's some truth to the exaggeration.
What’s your favorite kind of chips?
baked layssss.
That you know of, do you have any famous ancestors?
well. my ancestors came over on the mayflower. does that count?
Did you ever beg your parents for a pony?
no. pony's poop too much and i'd have to clean it up.
Is there someone you’ve been enemies with since you were little, and it’s never changed despite growing up and becoming more mature?
not really.
What laundry soap do you think smells the best?
i like tide. :o) but i mostly like bounce. and that's not a laundry soap.
Do you prefer Spongebob or Patrick?
i prefer sandy cheeks.
If you’re currently dating someone, would you be ready to elope with them right now if they asked?
-
If you’re not dating someone, can you think of one person that you would elope with right now if they asked?
brad pitt! baha
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress in Hollywood right now?
edward cullennnnnnnn!!! hahaha. jk. i still like good ole george clooney. and brad pitt. and sure, why not orlando bloom. i've had a crush on that one for awhile.
Have you ever written a song or a poem?
indeed.
If you have, have you ever written a song or a poem for someone?
nope.
Last but not least, type some funny or inspiring lyrics as a closing:
YEAH TOAST!!!!
**
If you had to pick one outfit that you currently own to wear for the rest of your life,
what would it consist of?
jeans, tshirt, flip flops. :o)
What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
ultimately... heaven. however, i hope that i can be a ghost and haunt people for awhile. just because. and i hope Jesus would join me.
What TV show have you seen every episode of?
the office!
What movie can you quote every line to?
wayne's world. :o) excellennnt!!
What bands have you seen in concert?
plus one (YES!!! favorite!), relient k, hawk nelson, audio adrenaline, thousand foot krutch... some other christian-type bands. ooh. and hot hot heat... that was fun... especially with those hippies in front of us and their special little illegal item that they were smokin'... oh boy.
What bands would you like to see in concert?
PLUS ONE!! again!! hahah. i don't know. i like festivals. with multiple bands.
If you had the money to retire anywhere in the world, where would you go?
somewhere with a beach. :o)
Is there a piece of jewelry or something similar that if you lost, you would feel naked?
i feel naked without my class ring and my kairos cross.
What is one thing [appearance-wise or other] you would change about yourself?
i wish i had more confidence in myself.
One thing you would change about your best friend?
i wish she wasn't so fricking pretty. ;o) jaykayy. she's wonderful the way she is. :o)
Everyone remembers their first birthday party that involved friends. Describe yours.
oh boy. pin the tail on the donkey was definitely involved. i don't remember much from it. but really... what more do i need to remember aside from pin the tail on the donkey?
What do you think is the perfect age and why?
under 10. i dont' want to be an adult!!!
If you could go back in time and change your first kiss, would you?
lol. you know what? i wouldn't. haha.
How many times have you said “I love you” to someone of the opposite sex [romantically] and meant it?
none.
How many times have you said it and not meant it?
ive never said it to anyone romantically.
Which member of your family has the biggest influence on your life?
mom. definitely mom.
If you won a $1,000 shopping spree to one store, what store would you want it to be?
jc penney! it's a one stop shop for all of my clothing needs!!
Which is your favorite comic book movie [The Hulk, Spiderman, Ironman, etc]?
oo. i liked ironman.
What do you think this phrase means: “I am drearily bloodletting this bedwetting cosmonaut”?
your mom!!!
If you could go back in time and relive one memory – relive it, not change it – what memory would it be?
the one time it was my birthday and we had a lock in at church and the boy i had a crush on was there.... he totally made me feel like i was floating and the ceiling was the only thing stopping me from just floating off the face of the earth. that boy. oh man. great day.
How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
i don't know. 2nd grade? maybe? average age?
Who taught you?
mom and dad
When you go to the movies, do you like to get candy or popcorn?
raisinets all the way!!
Describe the first real party you ever went to [i.e. first party with alcohol].
ha. um. i've never actually been to a house party-type party. i've been to a few political parties, back in the day. ;o)
If you’ve never been to one, explain why not.
it just never appealed to me. wasn't my scene. you know what i mean, jelly bean? (that was a lot of rhyming)
Did/do you like high school? Why or why not?
for the most part, yes. i didn't have many things *against* it... so sure, i liked it. ha.
Do you have ONE best friend, who stands out among all the others, that’s been there for you seemingly forever?
yep. and i've never met her.
If so, who is it?
my facebook wife. we've been writing letters to each other since i was 9 or 10 and she was 12 or 13.
If not, do you prefer having just a group of good friends, or would you like to have that one best friend?
both. :o)
Do you prefer the sound of electric, acoustic, or steel guitar?
acoustic. though i've never heard a steel guitar... hmmm...
Have you ever read the Bible – even just a little part of it?
dude. theo major.
Have you ever read the Koran?
no! but it's on my list!
What was the best pet you’ve ever had?
i've only had fish. they've all sucked. haha.
Out of all the states you’ve visited/lived in, which is your favorite?
i like the east coast a lot.
Do you enjoy jigsaw puzzles?
NO. i HATE them!!!
If you were allowed one murder without punishment, would you do it?
no.
Where do you keep your wallet when you’re out and about?
who knows. haha. on the floor in my room somewhere. i usually carry my debit card and license with me.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
not that i know of.
How about seen things happen that you think were caused by a ghost?
not that i know of.
Did you have Beanie Babies as a kid?
of course.
Did you have tag protectors for their tags, or did you just rip the tags off?
no tag protectors... but i left the tags on.
Do you prefer stripes or polka dots?
i prefer to mix them!
What’s the best Christmas present you ever received?
hm. deoderant. secret clinical strength (at least... when secret clinical strength actually worked on my pits)
Which of your birthdays was the most memorable?
my sixteenth.
Name one song you can play on an instrument – any instrument.
clair de lune--piano. :o)
Who taught you to play that song?
myself!
Out of all the teachers you’ve had, who had the biggest influence on you?
mr. patton. hands down.
Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle?
no.
How about a moped?
nope.
When you were little, what was your favorite Disney movie?
beauty and the beast. lion king. rawrr.
What’s your favorite Disney movie now?
beauty and the beast. lion king. rawrrr. :o)
On the opposite sex, do you prefer muscles, average size, or scrawny body?
average.
What’s the best gift you’ve ever received from a significant other?
haha. um. i got a sims expansion pack for my birthday. that was awesome. i totally forgot i had friends and a social life for like, a month after. that was a bit of an exaggeration. but there's some truth to the exaggeration.
What’s your favorite kind of chips?
baked layssss.
That you know of, do you have any famous ancestors?
well. my ancestors came over on the mayflower. does that count?
Did you ever beg your parents for a pony?
no. pony's poop too much and i'd have to clean it up.
Is there someone you’ve been enemies with since you were little, and it’s never changed despite growing up and becoming more mature?
not really.
What laundry soap do you think smells the best?
i like tide. :o) but i mostly like bounce. and that's not a laundry soap.
Do you prefer Spongebob or Patrick?
i prefer sandy cheeks.
If you’re currently dating someone, would you be ready to elope with them right now if they asked?
-
If you’re not dating someone, can you think of one person that you would elope with right now if they asked?
brad pitt! baha
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress in Hollywood right now?
edward cullennnnnnnn!!! hahaha. jk. i still like good ole george clooney. and brad pitt. and sure, why not orlando bloom. i've had a crush on that one for awhile.
Have you ever written a song or a poem?
indeed.
If you have, have you ever written a song or a poem for someone?
nope.
Last but not least, type some funny or inspiring lyrics as a closing:
YEAH TOAST!!!!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
38 questinos for the people who are a little older...
38 questions for the people who are a little older...
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? 'Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Had alcohol?' 37 questions for the people who are a little older...
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
taxes! bitches!!
2.Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
hm. applebees.
3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
sleeping!
4. How many colleges did you attend?
Just one (two?): CSB/SJU
5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was warm and fleecey and I was feeling warm and fleecey. :o)
6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
betches! I'm glad I don't have a car that I need to fill up regularly!
7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I seriously considered not going to class... that's for sure. I almost succeeded! Darn conscience got the best of me!
8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Exciting possibilites of things to dream about. :o)
9. Do you miss being a child?
Yep. I hate being an adult right now.
10. What errand/chore do you despise?
Managing my money!! I also hate doing laundry... but only occasionally.
11. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in!!
12. Have you found real love yet?
Nope
13. Favorite lunch meat?
salami. if only it wasn't murder to my weight watchers points... oy.
14. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
a cheap movie!
15. Beach or lake?
Beach.
16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Nope. I'm hoping to participate in that outdated ritual one day.
17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
I've never seen either one.
18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Will Smith. And I'd make him make a rap out of my life story (noooow this is a story all about how my life got twist turned upside down...)
19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Yes, actually. It was really minor and I cried my way out of it. I didn't intentionally cry my way out of it... but the tears were a flowin. I just kissed someone's bumper in traffic... I was going maybe 5 mph. whoops. No one died... and the car was fine.
20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope. And I hope I don't have to... because I've never practiced with it before. ha.
21. Ring tone?
Emily's sister screaming "RINNNNG RINNNNG RINNNNG!!!" into it. haha.
22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth.
A bathroom. haha
23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Anywhere!! I'd love to go to California! Maybe San Diego?
24. Do you go to church?
Yes!
25. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Relationship
26. How old are you?
21
27. Do you have a "go to" person?
not really... to be honest. maybe a couple possibilities... but no one that i immediately think of if i need someone to talk to.
28. Are you where you want to be in life?
I don't know. I think I could use some change.
29. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
saturday morning cartoons!!! recess! doug!!!!! ahhh. and daria. haha. i loved daria. i still love daria. i still love cartoons in general.
30. What about you do you think has changed the most?
I am more determined and willing to put forth effort into things (except for school... I just hate school). I'm starting to think that I am worth the hard work.
31. Looking back at high school, were those the best years of your life?
Hm. Well... I haven't experienced much of life yet... so I'm not sure. I hope not. I hope it gets better. High school was pretty good. But I don't want that to be the bar I set for myself. haha.
32. Did you ever own troll dolls?
Yes. haha.
33. Did you have a pager?
Nope
34. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager ?
church! at least it was for me. for everyone else... it was probably the skate park or the stoner hill in palatine. haha.
35. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Yep. I'm awesome.
36. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
hm. my family. in good and bad ways.
37. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Yeah. Mr. Patton... my adventure ed teacher. There are *still* lessons he taught me that I'm applying to life right now. He's one of the most amazing men I've ever met.
38. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age..."?
hahaha. Yep. I try to as often as possible. Can't wait until I get even older! :o)
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? 'Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Had alcohol?' 37 questions for the people who are a little older...
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
taxes! bitches!!
2.Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
hm. applebees.
3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
sleeping!
4. How many colleges did you attend?
Just one (two?): CSB/SJU
5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was warm and fleecey and I was feeling warm and fleecey. :o)
6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
betches! I'm glad I don't have a car that I need to fill up regularly!
7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I seriously considered not going to class... that's for sure. I almost succeeded! Darn conscience got the best of me!
8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Exciting possibilites of things to dream about. :o)
9. Do you miss being a child?
Yep. I hate being an adult right now.
10. What errand/chore do you despise?
Managing my money!! I also hate doing laundry... but only occasionally.
11. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in!!
12. Have you found real love yet?
Nope
13. Favorite lunch meat?
salami. if only it wasn't murder to my weight watchers points... oy.
14. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
a cheap movie!
15. Beach or lake?
Beach.
16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Nope. I'm hoping to participate in that outdated ritual one day.
17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
I've never seen either one.
18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Will Smith. And I'd make him make a rap out of my life story (noooow this is a story all about how my life got twist turned upside down...)
19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Yes, actually. It was really minor and I cried my way out of it. I didn't intentionally cry my way out of it... but the tears were a flowin. I just kissed someone's bumper in traffic... I was going maybe 5 mph. whoops. No one died... and the car was fine.
20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope. And I hope I don't have to... because I've never practiced with it before. ha.
21. Ring tone?
Emily's sister screaming "RINNNNG RINNNNG RINNNNG!!!" into it. haha.
22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth.
A bathroom. haha
23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Anywhere!! I'd love to go to California! Maybe San Diego?
24. Do you go to church?
Yes!
25. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Relationship
26. How old are you?
21
27. Do you have a "go to" person?
not really... to be honest. maybe a couple possibilities... but no one that i immediately think of if i need someone to talk to.
28. Are you where you want to be in life?
I don't know. I think I could use some change.
29. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
saturday morning cartoons!!! recess! doug!!!!! ahhh. and daria. haha. i loved daria. i still love daria. i still love cartoons in general.
30. What about you do you think has changed the most?
I am more determined and willing to put forth effort into things (except for school... I just hate school). I'm starting to think that I am worth the hard work.
31. Looking back at high school, were those the best years of your life?
Hm. Well... I haven't experienced much of life yet... so I'm not sure. I hope not. I hope it gets better. High school was pretty good. But I don't want that to be the bar I set for myself. haha.
32. Did you ever own troll dolls?
Yes. haha.
33. Did you have a pager?
Nope
34. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager ?
church! at least it was for me. for everyone else... it was probably the skate park or the stoner hill in palatine. haha.
35. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Yep. I'm awesome.
36. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
hm. my family. in good and bad ways.
37. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Yeah. Mr. Patton... my adventure ed teacher. There are *still* lessons he taught me that I'm applying to life right now. He's one of the most amazing men I've ever met.
38. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age..."?
hahaha. Yep. I try to as often as possible. Can't wait until I get even older! :o)
Friday, November 20, 2009
finding my place?
Isn't it only supposed to be the freshman and transfer students who are still trying to find their place? I don't think I've ever felt so completely lost at school before. I just don't belong anywhere. I don't fit in with any group of people. I don't like going to the bars, and the only thing to do, really, is go to the bars. On top of it all, I'm just really shy and insecure sometimes. I want so desperately to fit in somewhere and to look forward to a fun weekend for once instead of one spent indoors watching "Say Yes to the Dress." I hate the fact that the only people I've ever hung out with in college have either moved, gotten married, or gotten a new group of friends to hang out with. I hate being in this position. I hate being alone. I just want to have fun. That's all I ask. I want a place to belong. I want to have friends here who I can go to about anything. I don't want to be the last resort friend, or the friend you only hang out with when you would rather not go to the bars. Is that so much to ask? It doesn't help that I'm so paranoid about what other people think of me, either. God. I should have been out of this phase by now. This just sucks. I'm gonna go do something lame like wash dishes or something. Maybe eat even more icecream. I hate how this feels.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Kaile
I have a niece, Kaile, who died when she was 2. I was 7. It's a tragic tale that I don't feel the need to talk about yet. But the thought occurred to me that next month would have been her 16th birthday. You know where I was when I was 16? I was in Paris. I landed in Paris on my 16th birthday. I was with my dad, I was taking this incredible opportunity to perform in Paris and London with orchestra. I was performing piano in Paris when I was 16. And Kaile would be 16 pretty soon. What kind of mischief would she have gotten herself into?
I'm finding that I'm not thinking of her as often as I used to. I didn't think of her that much when I was younger, and then I started to when I was around middle school. I used to think of her at least once a month. I don't think I've thought of her for months now. I feel like a horrible auntie. How can you forget to remember the first person you ever remember falling in love with?
This paper is really hard to do because I'm finding out how hard my heart has gotten. I haven't been paying attention in life. I need to pay attention. I need to remember. Anyway.
I'm finding that I'm not thinking of her as often as I used to. I didn't think of her that much when I was younger, and then I started to when I was around middle school. I used to think of her at least once a month. I don't think I've thought of her for months now. I feel like a horrible auntie. How can you forget to remember the first person you ever remember falling in love with?
This paper is really hard to do because I'm finding out how hard my heart has gotten. I haven't been paying attention in life. I need to pay attention. I need to remember. Anyway.
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