Saturday, June 19, 2010

Going to the movies alone.

I have an itch to go see a movie. But all my friends are busy or unresponsive to my text messages. I really want to see the A-Team. I haven't seen a movie in the theater in forever. I should just go by myself, right?

Can you believe that I've been sitting here for the past hour debating in my head whether or not to go? I just don't know. Is it worth it for me to fork over $9 on a Saturday night to go see a movie alone? Wouldn't that just confirm my notions that I'm a big loser who can't even find girl friends to go see a movie with? What's wrong with me? Why is this such a difficult decision for me to make?

I think I see the movie theater as something that should be a social activity, even if you aren't being social while you are watching the movie. It's an experience meant to be shared. I pay $9 for that experience to share with my friends. Would it be as worth it to pay $9 for an experience to share with myself?

...Am I worth $9?

It's now too late to catch the movie that I wanted to see. I should have just gone. But I don't know. I don't think I'm worth spending $9 on. Is that more pathetic than going to see the movie alone?

I should just get some wine.


Tonight I decided to have a couple glasses of wine. And I was feeling pretty relaaaaaxed, (I'm TOTES a lightweight apparently) and then I went in the pantry and found where my parents hid all their liquor. And you know, I started feeling bad that I never did anything rebellious as a teenager, so I sneaked out some vodka and made myself a screwdriver. It was a pretty weak screwdriver because I felt bad about taking the vodka without permission, but it felt good doing something that my parents have no idea I did. Even if I am almost 22. I need to make friends.

*end edit*

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