Monday, March 29, 2010

The question is: what is the status of my soul now?

I always joke around with God about how many times I should have been struck dead for blasphemy by now. But I think today really takes the cake... and based on the headache that I have, I think He thinks so too. Today I finished writing a story for my creative writing class... a 6 page single-spaced beauty of a short story (I have never been able to write that much of a short story in my life... and I could get used to it!!)... about a woman who fell in love with her priest, converted to Catholicism, got pregnant with his love child, endured the wrath of scandal, and wound up being in so much despair that she resorted to an abortion. I didn't even know that my story was going to go in that direction. I knew that they were going to fall in love and be faced with the dilemma of "but he's a priest!" I did not know a pregnancy would be involved. It just kind of happened. And I'm not fully satisfied with my story. I think I could make the ending better. I could expand on a ton of things. I don't want her to have the abortion. I'm struggling with my character... because I know that she's under a great deal of stress from a ton of ugly mistakes. I want her to change her mind in the end and not go through with the abortion. I'm going to have to rework it.

But you know what? I think this is exactly why I love writing so much. I love putting myself in the shoes of my characters like this. I mean, if I were Ariah, my main girl, and I fell in love with my priest, and in our moment of weakness we forgot our roles and did something that is only human when it comes to loving someone... and if my heart was broken not only because the priest overreacted and couldn't own up to his own mistakes.. and I had to face the possibility of bringing a child out of those circumstances in the world... what *would* I think? How *would* I react? I, the author, would look at the situation and tell Ariah that the best option would be an adoption if she cannot care for her child on her own. But Ariah is completely different from me. I need to get to know her some more.

Of course I loved the scandal of the love between a priest and young woman. Especially when I think of that one time in high school I went to a youth festival thing at my church and some young seminarians were there and they were super cute and I totally had a crush on one of them, except he had the ring around his neck and was obviously off limits. Oh, the woes of a 16-year-old... Anyway.

Before I leave, I want to ponder serving sizes. Especially serving sizes on a medium-sized bag of M&Ms. Why are they necessary? 8 servings to a bag ?Yeah right. More like 2.

1 comment:

  1. I want to read that story once you're done with it! (SERIOUSLY!)

    Who's your prof?