Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Is "Squee" a word? Because whether it is or not, I'm going to use. it. SQUEE!!

Actually, now that I really look at it, I don't like the way the word "Squee" works typed out, nor do I think it really does an adequate job of describing the kind of excitement I'm feeling right now. I'm feeling very excited about a lot of things!! I don't even know where to start with my list, because they are all so very exciting... and it's not this huge list or anything... but still... I'm excited. I'm feeling joy. And then I realized... wow. It's been awhile since I've truly felt anything at all. At least not since Thanksgiving... thank you end-of-the-year Stress-zilla.

Anyway. For starters, tonight is my "up-all-night" party. It will mostly consist of me and Jesus... because I'm pretty sure none of my friends are the types who want to stay up all night with me. I suggested my idea of going to Perkins at 3:30 in the morning for breakfast and got enthusiastic initial responses... and then as the week sunk in they were not as enthusiastic about it. ha. Either way, I'm having an "up-all-night" party for one of the things that is making me so excited--because I'm going to go home via train!! Train!! I love trains!! I mean I hate that they're almost always late and that this one is coming at 5:15 in the morning... that's what the "up-all-night" party is for... because I hate waking up early and would rather just stay up all night long (one of my smarter ideas, of course). But still... I love trains. I meet the best people on trains. People want to sit and talk on a train. I'm not 50,000 feet in the air when I'm on a train. It's a long ride... about 10 hours... but it's a good ride. I don't get bored on the train. I can go to the dining car, or to the hang-out car (whatever the heck it's called). I can experience the joy of peeing on a train (it's a lot of fun... let me tell you... especially the part where I have to try and just stay on the seat because of how jerky the train can be on those tracks... I understand now why those bathrooms are so tiny... because if they weren't, you would probably fall off and that was just be awful. anyway. I am clearly off topic). Trains are just super fantastic. And I feel like I'm part of an old movie when I pull up at the train station, get off, and find my dad sitting there waiting for me after we have not seen each other in oh-so-long. The last time I took the train home, I sat near a man who kept saying, "Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup! I'm goin to da CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!" over and over again. At least once every 10 minutes. Did it get annoying? Maybe after 3 or 4 hours. But those first few hours... he was actually pretty entertaining. Poor man had to suffer for days on that train all the way from Seattle... I think it's understandable if he was going a little crazy.

So that's reason one why I'm so excited. I'm going to be riding a train soon!! Wooooo wooooo!

I'm excited because Ashley, our current pianist for prison ministry, is going abroad next semester (which is *not* why I'm excited), leaving a place for a pianist to fill for prison Mass (which is *why* I'm excited)! I loved playing the piano all up through high school... I used to sit and practice for hours at a time, every single day. I played with the American Symphonietta and I played in band at school and I've played at Masses at church and I loved it. I fell out of love with it during the start of a difficult period in my life and I've only dabbled here and there throughout college. There has always been something to pull me back to it though... and now that I've been sincerely wanting to play again... this opportunity comes, and I'm taking it. I love going to prison for Mass, and I can get the days off work. Furthermore, I signed up for piano lessons this week and I've been planning music for liturgies the week before the actual Mass... so next semester it will just be natural you know... pick the music on Tuesday, practice it during some of my lessons, play it on Monday, repeat cycle. I'm a bit nervous about playing in front of everyone when I'm a little rusty... but I'm going to freshen up over break so hopefully I'll be singing a different tune by the time the semester starts up again. And I love prison and I love those guys at prison, and I'm excited for the opportunity to be able to go once a week instead of once a month.

I'm excited because the end of the semester is plainly in sight. The only thing blocking my way from freedom is a revision of a word vomit-type paper I wrote last night and my 8 page take home final essay/test from butt's class. And I will get it done before I have to go for work today at 5. I'm determined. I'm even going to squeeze in a workout for my sake before as well. I'm determined. And you have to understand... this has been the worst end-of-semester in the history of end-of-semesters. Last week alone I had: one test, one video-taped dance final, one journal, one final reflection paper, one e-folio, and two presentations (one 10-15 minute, one 30 minute) due... all of which I saved for the last minute... naturally. This week, I had my astronomy final and 10 page research paper due yesterday (that 10 page paper was baller... I locked myself up in the library and cranked it out in 4 hours), a final take home essay due today (which was technically due yesterday... but ain't no way I was going to do that by yesterday so I got an extension), and butt's take home final due Thursday. And now that the only things left are tweaking the final essay and my 8 pager... it feels so great. I truly believed I wasn't going to live to see this day, and now that it's here... oh man. Break is going to be so wonderful. My up all night party is going to be even more wonderful now that I can enjoy it instead of study through it. Life is good.

I'm excited for break. I'm excited for Christmas and New Years... I'm excited to see my family at my grandma's birthday part on New Years Eve... I'm not excited about not working because I need the money... but at the same time... I'm excited to have an actual break where I don't really have any adult responsibilities per say, you know what I mean, jelly bean? I'm definitely excited for my QUEST meeting on Sunday and for our presenting team mini retreat in January. I'm excited to see old friends and new friends alike. I"m excited to go back to my church, I'm excited to get to drive my mom's little box car around. I'm just excited for some good times with good people this break. It's going to be good.

I'm excited that I only gained .2 pounds this past week. I can't tell you how poorly I've been eating and little I've been exercising because of stress from finals... and I'm sad that I didn't and probably won't meet my goal of being under 200 by Christmas unless I get a major loss this next week of 4.2 pounds (which is double the recommended amount). However, if I work hard enough, I could be under 200 by New Years, or at least by the start of the semester, and I think that's a good goal to set for myself. Even though I've been gaining since Thanksgiving... I've still been experiencing many "off scale" victories... such as going into stores and realizing that extra larges are too BIG on me and that I need to go a size DOWN. This is completely new territory... I have been an extra large for as long as I can remember. And now... a large. This is amazing. And I fit into a pair of Gap jeans. I've never ever been able to fit into a pair of Gap jeans. These little discoveries have given me the motivation to pick myself up and start all over again. And I'm excited for it.

And, of course, it's advent. I should have been excited and preparing all advent season. It makes sense that I'm excited right now. What more is there to be excited about than the birth of Jesus? I mean really? It's a pretty big deal. :o) It's deserving of another post at another time. So for now... I'm going to eat a little something, then go to the library and get my stuff done. I'm excited! :o)

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