Monday, October 5, 2009

philosophy of dating?

I have to write a position paper for a class on what my philosophy of dating is. I'm not exactly sure what to write. I mean, I haven't exactly been beating down the boys with a blunt object... but it's not like I'm a lost cause. I've had dates to the majority of the dances at school, one relationship my senior year of high school, and one legit date in college. I know I'm capable of attracting someone. I think I'm just really choosy, and I don't think this is a bad thing.

I don't outwardly flirt with just anyone and make myself part of the typical "hook up" scene because I know who I am. I am a child of God. I'm in love with my Father. I want to be with someone who is also in love with God like I am. Because then this way, the love I have for my significant other will reflect the love I have for my Father, and vice versa. My significant other will recognize me as a child of God, and he will treat me as such, and I will recognize my significant other as a child of God and I will treat him as such. I believe any relationship I have, whether it's romantic or platonic, should help me become the best version of myself, because God is constantly molding me into the best version of myself. Hooking up doesn't appeal to me because I'm not interested in treating a young man as an object for my personal satisfaction. God would never do that to me, and I would never do that to any of his children. I want spend time getting to know a person either on a friend level or via casual dates before entering into a relationship with that person. I don't think dating should be rushed, but it should still be moving.

So maybe I have taken an interest in someone, and I want to get to know him more. I wouldn't be opposed to going on dates with him as long as I've gotten to know him enough to where I'm comfortable being myself around him and can trust him enough to be respectful of me and my feelings/thoughts/opinions. If I'm already friends with a person, maybe it's just a matter of discussing the feelings and taking it to the next level.

Either way, I want to be "wooed." I want to be romanced. I want daisies. I want butterflies in my stomach. I want to laugh uncontrollably. I want to go on dates in which the young man will pick me up and take me out to dinner. I wouldn't even mind getting picked up to go to the caf. It just has to be a legit date. None of this "Oh well, I like you and you like me, so maybe we should just tell everyone that we're boyfriend and girlfriend" business. Nope. Dates. They did it in the olden days... we can do it now. I am a child of God and should be treated as such. I'm not expecting the young man in question to spend all his money on me. I am expecting thoughtfulness. Thoughtfulness doesn't have to cost money. It could be as simple as cooking dinner for me, or just being there to hang out and shoot the breeze, or going for a walk. I want someone who knows that if they intentionally hurt me, they will have my family, my friends, and my God to answer to. I am a child of God and should be treated as such. :o)

And if I find someone who I want to enter into a relationship with... I think I can bring just as much to him. I can take him on dates. I can attempt to cook him dinner (or at least muffins.... I'm good at muffins). I am patient and I am caring and thoughtful and I am a good listener. It might take me awhile to warm up to new people... but when I do... I think I can be a good friend. I can give him his space and I desire space for myself too. I'm comfortable enough with myself to not be clingy or jealous and I don't think it takes a lot to keep me happy. I don't want to be completely dependent on a person... I want to figure out how I can accomplish tasks myself and be responsible for my own life. I can see the bigger picture, so I am more willing to overlook the little details. I'm a complete goofball and I know when to be serious, too. I'm a lot more grown up than I was in high school.

So. Maybe I'll just take some of that and throw it into my paper. hm. Indeed.

1 comment:

  1. i love this!!! i hope you put this as your paper. it is lovely!! i miss you already!